Earlier this month I shared how my sister received the nickname, “Thunderpiss”. Now it’s time to share a nickname given to me as a kid. This nickname did not stay within the confines of our family home but was given to me by my father (he has a knack for this sort of thing I suppose) in a public setting among my peers.
I was nine years old and kicking ass playing defender on my soccer team. All us kids started to get together in the summer to prepare for the fall season and I remember the warmth, the sunshine, and just feeling fantastic overall.
I remember we were doing a drill in which you waited in line and when it was your turn, the coach kicked the ball out onto the field from the sidelines. You had to run it down, dribble it back up the field, and then try your best to fire it past the goalie.
My turn came up and I managed to trip over the ball and fall on my butt. Not a big deal at all. Falling happens quite while playing sports. I laughed, my teammates are laughing. That is when my dad yells from the sidelines, “Nice Move Jar Jar!”
You see, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace had come out a few months previously. For those of you who don’t know who Jar Jar Binks is, he is characterized as clumsy, unintelligent, and generally unliked. Emphasis on the clumsy though!
I got up from the grass and laughed off my dad’s comment. Laughed along with my teammates and the parents. It was a great zinger, I’ll give him that. However...that fucking name followed me throughout the entire season. Occasionally a teammate would trip or do something clumsy and I would seize the opportunity to attempt passing on the obnoxious nickname.
“Haha! Looks like we have a new Jar Jar guys.” “Nope,” the response would be, "You’re still the Jar Jar!”
It wasn’t traumatizing but it was slightly humiliating and supremely annoying. Thankfully it didn’t follow me to middle school. Sometimes all you can do is grow out of the situation
JANUARY 2021